Orgasm Olé: Why your partner should be open to sex toys

Also available in German
Orgasmus Olé: Deshalb sollte dein Partner offen für Sextoys sein

Did you know that women come significantly less often when having sex with men than when engaging with their favorite toys? The reason for this is innovative sex tech brands that have made it their main mission to put women’s orgasms first while always keeping the sex-wellness factor in mind.

G-spot vibrators that mimic finger movements, vibro-eggs worn while shopping and exercising, hands-free mini-vibrators that gently rest between the labia, and clitoral stimulators that work with pressure waves instead of vibrations are just a few sex tech gadgets that women have discovered for themselves, using as they please and quickly carrying themselves from one orgasm to the next.

It’s too bad that men are often left out of this exclusive journey of self-discovery, and women prefer to enjoy alone in silence; this, in turn, is related to a lack of communication, poor sex education, and the threat that man feels towards a dildo-like aid. Yes, penetration is great and feels amazing, but women rarely orgasm that way. Then why not include a lay-on vibrator for the clit, or a vibrator that can be inserted in addition to penetration? Because according to studies, women reach orgasm faster with sex toys than without, and 67% only need ten minutes or less.

Let’s talk about the orgasm gap

This term is as big as the difference in orgasm experience between men and women. Especially in heterosexual sex, studies show that women experience far fewer climaxes than men. How can this be? Whereas we are in the state to get several orgasms in a row.

Behind this lies a misconception of pleasure, i.e., men misunderstand female desire and focus too much on penetration. Women, in turn, have been miseducated about their lust. Poor sex education, or no sex education at all, is just one issue. Let’s look at the countless movies we grew up with. These are memorable reminders that manifest themselves in our innermost being. Woman meets Man, they get close, and ‘poof’ they find themselves in the missionary position, after which everything seems very passionate, and the hero (the man) does his best to end up spilling his seed inside her. Did she come at all? Or did she moan to encourage him? She must have come after all because she looked so happy doing it! Women, or rather girls, learn from the beginning of their sexual life to transmit their sexuality as well as their pleasure to another person and to put their own in the background.

Porn, for example, gives us a distorted perception of sex in the natural sense. For there man has a permanent hard-on, there is never any laughter or communication, and at the end of the film, the male ejaculate ends up in the face of the woman, who licks her lips heartily while grinning with satisfaction. But there is hope in the form of the veritable newly discovered “emotional man.”

Visions of the future

It’s time to take a breath and look optimistically toward the future because it does exist, the new generation of the open and experimental man. He calls himself the “emotional man” and defines himself as a self-confident cavalier who perceives the woman’s desire and brings it to the fore. He is sensitive, able to communicate, vulnerable, and feels no shame discussing sexual needs and desires. The emotional man also uses sex toys alone and with his partner. He is very knowledgeable and knows exactly what Woman needs. HALLELUJA!

Because let’s face it, that’s where we want to be. Why is it that when it comes to topics like sex and masturbation, we still act like troglodytes, even though we use all kinds of high-tech gadgets in our everyday lives to make it easier? The market of sex toys is more sophisticated than ever and brings to light whole new possibilities of orgasm with or without penetration. Not to mention how couples benefit from these erotic pleasure bringers in relationships. A 2016 study by David Frederick, Ph.D. of Chapman University, found that women and men who are satisfied with their relationship and intimacy with their partner were likelier to report using sex toys together.

Selection of the right toys

Let’s move on to the next point: the selection of couples’ toys. Whether you’re in a monogamous relationship or experimenting with lovers, here I’ll show you a few ways you can use certain sex toys to spice up your love life with a partner.

Dame / Eva

Eva is a hands-free mini vibrator inserted between the labia, providing simultaneous clitoral stimulation during sex. Dame products were designed by sexologist Alexandra Fine and engineer Janet Lieberman, women who are knowledgeable about the anatomy of their target audience and want to share that knowledge in the context of the orgasm gap and end it once and for all to create barrier-free pathways to shame-free sexual pleasure and well-being. This sex toy is perfect for gently introducing your partner to the world of sex toys without feeling overwhelmed. Because Eva reminds anything but a meat dildo, the vibrator is small, aesthetic, and disappears inconspicuously under your labia.

Unbound Babes / Gemini

Gemini is a beautiful and high-quality designed glass dildo with two sensual ends that can be used variably and are guaranteed to provide more pleasure and orgasms during shared lovemaking. Unbound Babes are committed to female pleasure and blunt openness in dealing with sexuality and sex toys. At the time, the brand sent thousands of vibrators to members of Congress to support reproductive health in the fight against sexism. With this sex toy, you make a concrete statement and take your pleasure into your own hands because Gemini brings multi-faceted sensations. You can use Gemini with your partner as a massager for erotic foreplay, heating or cooling the glass for variable stimulation, and insert both ends for vaginal and anal expeditions of pleasure; I guarantee your visual senses will be spoiled with this toy.

Smile Makers / The Ballerina

The organically shaped vulva vibrator from Smile Makers is perfect for couple play because The Ballerina is compact, comfortable to hold and use and also made of a unique silicone gel texture that mimics the feeling of human touch. Perfect to position the vibrator between the two of you during lovemaking and stimulate the clit in addition to penetration or other toys; since testicles and penis don’t have to be left out either. Smile Makers are among the pioneers of female sexual wellness to celebrate and bring pleasure to the forefront. They emphasize aesthetically pleasing designs and high-quality material processing. With The Ballerina, you’ll get real-life sensations and an innovative gadget to take your shared pleasure to a new level.

Conclusion

One thing is clear: not all sex toys are created equal, and once we say goodbye to our outdated thoughts that come with toys as well as “traditional sex,” a variety of new options open up to better sex, as well as a better understanding of “what do I want, what really turns me on, and how do I climax.” This is exactly why your partner or lover should be open to the topic, to give you the highest pleasure ever. Otherwise, there is a risk that your new high-tech friend will replace the real thing.