Female sexuality through a life span

Also available in German
Weibliche Sexualität im Laufe eines Lebens

Sexuality accompanies us through all phases of life, from early childhood, the playful discovery of the sexual organs through puberty to adulthood, and later, menopause. Sex hormones are responsible for sexual desire, which we mainly define as estrogen and progesterone, whereby estrogen is only a generic term for 30 different hormones that influence sexual desire on the one hand, but also the body, from breast development during puberty to bone formation. In puberty, estrogen makes the biggest contribution to the physical and psychological growth of women, as does the progesterone hormone, which plays an additional role later on during pregnancy and breastfeeding. In the climacteric period, estrogen and progesterone fall, which affects our physical condition and can determine our desire. I say I can on purpose because while menopause marks the end of women’s reproductive capacity, it is not the end of sexuality.

In this article, I will look at the different stages of female sexuality and address the question of the age at which women are most sexually active and why the climacteric period, contrary to all expectations, often brings a new desire for sex.

From childhood to puberty

We begin to discover our sexual organs in childhood, but not at a sexual adult level, rather in a playful exploration of our bodies. Nevertheless, adults may find this disconcerting if they catch their child sliding around on a pillow or constantly fiddling with their genitals. The key is to remain calm and not forbid the child to do anything; instead, draw attention to private areas. Because at this age, it is already extremely important to convey a good body image and allow the urge to explore.

During puberty, the first menstruation begins, and breasts and pubic hair grow. However, there is not only a physical change but also an emotional rollercoaster ride triggered by hormones. These emotional ups and downs during puberty are normal and experienced by girls and boys alike. This means keeping calm, being patient in the face of irritation and outbursts of anger, and not imposing on the teenager but transferring a feeling of belonging and care; it’s the phase in which curiosity and active sex develop.

Adulthood

If we summarize sexual adulthood from eighteen to forty (to deal later with the climacteric period, which begins around the age of forty), then this period is probably the most adventurous. You embark on a journey, get to know your sexual needs better and, in the best case, communicate them. In addition, sexual orientation usually crystallizes, and preferences and aversions are defined. It is also a time in which we deal with different relationship concepts in order to develop our sexuality further. Some women decide to become mothers, which means a whole new challenge and, at the same time, influences sexual behavior. This is because estrogen levels drop after giving birth while the bonding and cuddling hormone oxytocin are released during breastfeeding, meaning that women have less desire for sex during this time.

Climacteric period and menopause

The climacteric period usually begins in the early forties and ends with the last menstrual period (menopause). The period is said to last around ten years. However, this varies from woman to woman. Hormones become unbalanced, and some experience hot flashes, sweating, sleep disorders, and mood swings. The two hormones, estrogen and progesterone, fall steadily, but they do not affect libido, as long assumed. However, the lack of estrogen is noticeable in the mucous membranes, which is why we often speak of vaginal dryness. This varies greatly from person to person and circumstance to circumstance and can be quickly controlled with various preparations.

Many women in the climacteric period experience the best sex of their lives because they have a better and, above all, more relaxed body awareness. They know what they want in bed, make no compromises when it comes to their pleasure fulfillment, and pay more attention to the feeling than the performance. For this reason, they should look forward to this stage of their lives rather than putting pressure on themselves because women in their forties are a source of lust. They are more willing to experiment, more courageous, and more self-determined. Issues such as contraception and periods take a back seat, and their pleasure comes to the fore.

At what age are women most sexually active?

So far, we have found that hormones guide but do not control our female desire and that sexual pleasure varies from woman to woman and circumstance to circumstance. I think we have the most sex in our younger years, in our twenties to early thirties, but definitely the better sex in our mid-thirties or forties. Simply because we meet ourselves more intensively as we get older, feel more comfortable, and know what really turns us on. Orgasms come more easily; we’re not ashamed to try new tools and like to slip into different roles. We perceive sex as more playful and our pleasure as more meaningful. Although our estrogen levels drop, our testosterone levels rise. This, in turn, means that we make statements. We become more dominant and insist on equal satisfaction.

Our sexuality evolves throughout our lives and provides exciting insights at every stage, but one thing is certain: just as we grow with experience, our desire also grows and doesn’t become less just because hormones throw our body rhythm slightly out of balance. Sex alone or with a partner matures like a good wine and becomes more and more valuable.